I don’t know about you, I’m feeling 02:22 02.02.22
I don’t know about you, but I turned 27 at 02.22 a.m. on 02.02.2022 in absolute stillness. Thank you Taylor Swift.
I got up, turned off the alarm at 02.19 a.m. and waited for three whole minutes while basically nodding off the whole time to gather all my might to be awake and organise my thoughts.
In order to be completely alone, I asked Vasanth to get out of the room. In the process, he took some terrible pictures to upload on social media to capture the 'real me’. Yuck who wants that. Give me the Shiny Fox Instagram filter that contorts my entire face.
The lead up to the moment was honestly, annoying. I was sleepy and pissed off to have been woken up after just about falling asleep.
I’d be lying now if I didn’t say that I got some level of excitement.
As it became 02.21 a.m., I thought that the best way to capture the moment was by taking screenshots of the exact moment clocks turn to become the fated number.
Instead of "experiencing the moment", I reduced it to taking pictures of my screen so that I could boast eventually to people who may not even care about the time. Fantastic. Just fantastic.
However, I knew that if I wished for any 22 things- magic, malligai poo, macarena-- it might just come true.
Immediately afterwards, I said a prayer, threw in a thanks and quickly began mumbling my wishlist.
I asked for
- World peace and a heavy dose of sexiness for all.
- The will to write a blockbuster novella about an oil merchant losing all his riches after falling in love with a water nymph residing in a brook in Theni’s Meghamalai hills. Love, magic, betrayal, STD.
- Better understanding of the metric system. I really find it hard to conceptualise distance. I really cannot say how long a kilometer really is. Just don't comprehend it.
- A great lottery ticket from my next trip to Kerala which I will actually scratch and win ₹2 lakh but (₹1,20,000 after all tax deductions).
- BTWIN teal blue colour gear cycle.
- One very real interaction with any thing/person who is extraterrestrial with at least three other persons corroborating my story.
- A set of 6 new Marks and Spencers jottis with bows preferably.
- 5 consecutive 1/6 Wordle scores. Everyone must think I've cheated or must be in general awe.
- My family’s support to get my life long dream of getting the 'No ragrets' tattoo. They are very discouraging.
- The ability to talk to penguins for a day.
- Some way to completely erase the manic pixie dream girl trope because it is basically the loose ponnu trope of Tamil cinema.
- Kisses from anyone named Zoe.
- The ownership of a bookshop on a docked yacht which never ever requires cleaning. Open air, of course. That’s where customers will read.
- An interview with Chai with Chitra's Chitra/ a Taylor Swift concert where she sings only very popular songs by her and not the new stuff.
- One viral tiktok like Material Gwarl or Pooja what is this behaviour that would help me get ₹₹₹₹₹.
- Some mystic ability to have full body laser hair removal without any pain or money because waxing is just too painful.
- The pandemic to fuck off.
- The chance to be an extra in either a Venkat Prabhu/ Vishal movie OR a Venkat Prabhu heist starring Vishal. Balley ciao.
- Some elixir to keep my plants and paati alive forever.
- A kingdom called Watercress with lands far and wide that are evergreen with many spots for picnics. The rulers are not feudal. It is in some ways utopia with only problems of sassiness.
- Some very large bitcoin, NFT portfolio.
And finally,
- Ninja doctors who double up as friends, therapists for family members and friends to ensure physical and mental protection.
Nothing happened after I asked for my wishes. Vasanth came back inside, asked me what I wished for and promptly fell asleep as I began reading my list out. I looked at messages from kind people who like me, could not sleep easily. I hoped that even though I immediately spoke my wishes out loud, I might have a 40% success rate and eventually, shut my eyes.
Happy birthday, everyone.
