You may now refer to me as Covid chaos
Hi, I’ve tested positive for Covid.
I began developing symptoms late on January 4. It first manifested as intense headaches and quickly moved on to becoming acute body pain. It was only a matter of time until it turned into a fever. Through this short journey, I have started noticing other changes too.
Covid has left me not just with brain fog but also a great amount of evil. I am left with regular flittering thoughts of wrecking havoc.
I have now metamorphosised into a blob monster. My superpower is my potent spit. I highly wonder if I’m ready for justice. I’m however confident that I’m prepared for chaos.
I feel like
- Tearing the leaves of my plants.
- Throwing my used tissues into the second floor house balcony because the person who owns that house is now my enemy no. 1 for ruining our new year by yelling at us right as we began dancing to jalsa pannunga da.
- Burning a new dress.
- Making Vasanth do snake dance for entertainment.
- Listing the names of all the people who’ve said "Wow, now I’m really scared of the #MeToo thing. I could basically be called out for anything". Some are friends.
- Twisting the nipples of the guy who told me that he loved me the first ever time we hooked up, led me on like mad and then proceeded to ghost me.
- Telling all bakers that the frosting they add on cakes on most occasions taste like exactly like sugary goop shit. They should stop.
- Erasing all memories from school because I feel nothing but a deep seated sense of shame from then. Especially remembering a time when a dude told my entire batch that he saw me naked.
- Dismantling the AC stablizer.
- Lighting all the matchsticks in the small Homelights box and licking the red and white part where you light the match just to know what it tastes like to be exhausted and useless but still have lots of potential.
- Placing my feet on pages of new books and drawing their outline.
(Just almost kept feet then got scared)
- Breaking pens and colouring my hair with the ink.
- Conspiring with birds in my neighborhood to communicate their counterparts in the national capital to poop on godi ji’s head.
- Watching all oceans movies. So much slick dick chaos energy.
- Ordering Cheetos twisted puffs for ₹650 on Amazon and not eating it until it becomes stale.
- Making braorigami- origami from used, torn bras.
(This is a samosa)
- Telling all new cafe owners that it should be absolutely illegal to sell coffee for ₹300. It’s just not okay. No amount of coffee roasting is worth that much. You can’t charge surge price just because you allow people to smoke in your stupid 10x10 studio.
- Picking my nose everyday, collecting the nose dirt in a box and giving it to my mom.
- Drinking sanitizer.
- Cutting my tongue off because it’s bitter as fuck.
- Banning hot liquids like rasam.
This is an incomplete list. I will add more.
Until then, sending all of you
